Trying to be less hipster...

One of the things I value most is reflection.  Taking a step back to evaluate yourself and situations is an absolutely vital part of living.  It's the one piece of advice everyone can agree upon.  It's also the thing I seem to forget most often.  I have a horrible habit of trying to spite the most basic and common things we need to do to stay happy. Breathe, relax, drink water, eat colors, reflect.  I have been MISERABLE these past few weeks and I never too a minute to realize why.  There you have it.

Despite the obvious lack in taking care of myself properly I've been worrying over a lack of certainty in my future.  I've been treating living as if it were merely the development of a path to success which I was failing at.  I only just now realized that the fuel of my sadness is that my idea of success is eschew.  In fact, I don't even have an idea of what success means.  I've been freaking out over supposedly 'failing' to live a certain way when I don't know what way to live.  If I don't know what success is how can I know failure?  I'm upset over something non-existent.  

That's an unfortunate revelation I think i've been trying to prevent myself from understanding for quite some time.  However, it helps explain to myself why i've felt so estranged by my feelings.  I've never been able to relate to friends who constantly make fun of me for being so uptight because I didn't know how to explain my irrationality.  I never wanted to admit it was irrationality.  I never understood why I transitioned from a ridiculously hyperactive and annoyingly friendly child to and embarrassingly over-intense teenager.  Now, I thinks part of it was I just became wary of the future and my place in the world.  

If failure doesn't exist and success is inconceivable. If life isn't creating a path to success how do I achieve it without trying?  Consider those who are successful, George Washington, Albert Einstein, Paul McCartney.  Well, one thing they have in common is they weren't creating a plan. Granted, i'm sure they weren't stupid.  However, their plan was following their passion.  They stuck with the thing they loved and excelled at what they did.  Honestly, I don't know what George Washington actually had a passion for.  However, he put his heart and soul into what he was doing and became the best at what he did, which lead to his being made our first president.  

So, once again i'm brought back to the obvious, realizing only what thousands of people have already said.  Life's about finding and following your passion. That's how you'll achieve success.  I must be a hipster because my inability to latch on to the most general concepts is a little bit obnoxious.  However, i'm glad I took this moment to reflect because now I feel much more motivated to simply be good rather than worrying whether or not i'll accumulate to something.  Sometimes I just need to explain things in my own terms.  Thank you blooog.